Insomnia and Memories of the Past
Sleepless nights are becoming more of a routine. I think I know why I used to imbibe all too frequently in adult beverages, one simple word that we all need and are required to accomplish, sleep.
Symbiosis, between the brain and the body, seems to be out of kilter, or out of whack. Unfortunately for those of us who served, we are trained to recognize the need for rest, but also trained to overcome our previously established routines, something about waking up to alarms after getting a nap a day for a week, or being on point, or the tip of the spear, for months on end. I am not bitching about it, I volunteered; I chose to defend this Nation as an occupation, just saying I am having a hard time sleeping like a normal person.
Over the last few months a lot of my personal memories (unclassified of course, can’t have the other I signed a piece of paper and gave my word) have returned with such vivid clarity, not so much in a personal nature, but more in the events and circumstances in which the events occurred.
Case in point, I was thinking about being in San Diego in the 90’s as a young man in the United States Navy. Talk about a blast from the past. It wasn’t about the people I worked with nor, the work I did. Truth be told, I was new to my first boat and I was a NUB (Non Usable Body), I had yet to earn my Dolphins (aka Fish) and rightfully so, was considered a liability instead of an asset.
Keeping that in mind, I was left behind or augmented during a two month operation, and attended various training classes, both traditional training in the Navy’s version of its mini school house, and practical applications of the knowledge imparted by the always professional instruction staff. Up until this point I had only been to Navy schools in Groton, CT in my first two years in the Navy. Trained by the Sailors who have successfully engaged the enemy for decades. So to say I was well trained would be correct, however, my practical experience in the Navy was near zero so it would not be too overly indulgent, nor incorrect by any means measured to say I was a liability still learning to be any good at any important job.
What occurred during that time that I was left behind for being a air breathing, food eating, water consuming, Non-Qual is what I write about now.
Perestroika was the buzzword of the age. The Soviet Union was on life support; it could not compete on the global stage with the USA and its military efforts. Its not that the Soviet’s weren’t good at their jobs, I invite you to research anything about Stalingrad during WWII and the conviction necessary to defeat the German war machine, they were just broke from building their empire and their people were too. (Patterns and trends, patterns and trends)
Moving on, what happened what that the very enemy I was training to defeat was pulling into San Diego Harbor. The world truly was upside down, was I going to have a job in the Navy? The economy in the private sector was in the tank back home in North East Ohio, as machines, like robots, were eliminating manufacturing jobs; well at least I could fix those machines I thought.
I don’t remember the ships pulling in with the escorts, or any of the hullaballoo that occurred in any official capacity. What I do recall was taking a tour of the vessels, but even more than that I remember the Quarterdeck Watch, when I boarded and we exchanged pleasantries. I can quote word for word what that young kid, who is probably close to my age, as I was only 20, said this through an interpreter. “I hope we never have to fight each other.”
I am not sure what caused me to remember this one thing about that experience; I think it could be the birthday of my late Father, which was yesterday. He was ill with colon and eventually liver cancer during that time frame. You see I also remember asking my Father when I was a child, “What happens if the Russians drop the bomb on us”, as well. That question was posed to him somewhere in the very late 70’s or very early 80’s. His answer was not a deflection but a resolution of sorts. He said something to the effect that if you worry about that all the time you will never be able to provide for others or find peace in your life. Guess I should have listened to him.
I do remember my attitude as I left from my visit to the Soviet warships. I recall thinking to myself what kind of warrior would not want to fight? I now know that this young Russian kid on watch had seen more of the world than I had at the time and based upon his experiences and like everything in life it comes down to treating each person with dignity and respect, no matter what Nation they call home. It’s about making a better world for our kids, sharing, learning, and cooperating, with all who will work with you. It’s about a vision of peace and prosperity, not hate and vitriol. It’s about identifying our commonalities, not what separates us or makes us different.
Fast-forward 22-23 years on my last work trip to Germany as a contractor for the Army. Enjoying an evening at a “Fest” in one of the local towns near where I was staying. Engaging in conversations with the locals, who enjoyed the challenge of using their non-native tongue. Topics such as things to see in the local area, how have I enjoyed my stay so far, have I been here before, and the last and most disturbing to me “Why does America fight so many wars?” We talked about that topic for quite awhile. I was never defensive about his question, I countered it with how many wars has your country historically been involved in?
I defended my position by stating that the US is a young Nation in comparison of the rest of the World and it is historically nearly natural for conflicts to arise in which we as the last Global Superpower would naturally be involved in to protect our “National interests”. I sure wish I could sit down with that guy again and listen more intently in an effort to fully understand his point. We parted as friends and I wish him well to this day and good health into the future.
So tying those to stories together displaying how history repeats itself I am drawing a conclusion about the city I currently call home, Sierra Vista, AZ. Home of Fort Huachuca, a military installation for the US Army, the relevance to this writing is this. During my first shore tour in the Navy in the mid 90’s I was working as a recruiter in Victorville, CA, the former home of George Air Force Base in the Mohave Desert.
History does repeat itself, George AFB was closed in the first round of the governments Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) and the economy was toast. Half the towns were for sale and the other half for rent. Needless to say that the tour was extremely successful do to the lack of suitable sustainable employment opportunities for those who recently successfully completed their educational requirements.
Which leads me to this last parallel that I appear to be witnessing here in the booming metropolis of Sierra Vista, please note the sarcasm. After years of military budget cuts this town is being decimated by the lack of federal funds that it grew acquainted to being “entitled” too. You see the web of federal money knows no bounds; it infiltrates everything everywhere it can. If you can count on the money to fund a sprawling city government, through the taxation of the wealth achieved through military spending, why would you ever have to reinvent or innovate in order to be successful? As the status quo has kept the place afloat since its inception. I see lots of for sale signs and lots of for rent signs, which are normal in a military type town. However, the number of for sale signs seems to be dramatically on the rise, maybe some of those folks once lived in the Victor Valley in CA and can see the writing on the wall as well. Not sure what it reads but change is a good thing right?
In closing, life patterns repeat themselves, whether it be we as individuals, or collectively as a Human society. Trends indicate major change, all my city government is concerned about is taxing that change so it can maintain its monolithically huge properties, a transit system that costs $5,500 a day to operate. It comes nowhere near funding itself. You see somewhere in the line the population of Ft Huachuca got added into the population count. During the wars the numbers of folks was quite high, but since the last administration surrendered all gains made to the enemy jobs and people have left for better opportunities. The older I get the more I require the warmth of the sun, this climate is pretty good, its not Phoenix, Lake Havasu, or Yuma hot, that often. So I guess I will pay for the privilege to stay and become part of the community.
No more snow shoveling, or EAB races for me. Well until we change our minds or recognize any more patterns that are detrimental to our family, then I just might opt for a gas mask instead.
http://articles.latimes.com/1990-08-01/news/mn-1304_1_san-diego-harbor
http://www.history.com/topics/world-war-ii/battle-of-stalingrad